I dont usually do this.
Its just sometimes I wish the people I care for could stop and realize everyone’s human, including me.
I have so much on my plate right now. None of you have any idea because I don’t air out my dirty laundry, I try not to come across as a huge downer. The times I have worked up the courage to express how I feel, or whats going on on my life, I get a one word reply or a response that comes across as blatantly dismissive. Im not exactly an open book or looking for some kind of special attention, but a simple “Thank you" for all the listening and problem solving and check ups on you that ive done in the past would speak volumes. I very much appreciate the person who has done this, the moment they did it resonates within me, and sobers me when I’m overwhelmed.
I cant fix everything. I cant have time for everyone, I cant help everyone. I cant be there for most you like I used to, I cant mentor some you like I used to, I cant spend the time with you that I used to. I cant draw for you like I used to because right now I’M the one that needs all those things.
I can admit that I want and need to be helped the way I’ve helped others. Selfish, right?
Im mentally exhausted from the cards life has dealt me in the last few months, so I am helping myself. So if I come across distant or quiet or you feel like ive “abandoned" you, Im genuinely sorry. Its how I deal with problems.
Please try to remember, there’s a human being behind this username with real feelings, really big life changing things going on in her life and real problems just like yours.
I’m just trying to keep my sanity by dealing with my own problems before I can deal with anyone else’s wants or needs or problems.
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