This isn’t much but a whine/slight heads up post?
Once I get my truck fixed up. (Haven’t gotten none of the basic tune-ups for it and it’s almost been a year. + window is fucked still.)
I need to step out for a while, like from my place for a bit or find some other way to just throw some of this weight off my shoulders and ease myself up.
Trying to be social and participate in things hasn’t really helped. (at least not the ways I tried) It just leads to being more silently irritated at others and mostly myself. (Folks do nothing wrong most of the time, I am just straight up too easily put off as of lately.)
Being indecisive on about every little thing I do as of late and worrying about what choices I’m making/will have to make eventually. Has got me just. not moving at all or shutting down entirely. (sleeping almost an entire day away, meaninglessly going through social media, trying to draw and just quitting 20-30mins into it.)
Top that off with feeling extremely dissatisfied with my work quality, trust issues, social anxiety, but ACTUALLY wanting to talk, putting a foot forward, attempting and being disappointed later for even bothering. Having nice one on one or small calls, but then mood just dropping drastically barely an hour later after leaving said calls. It’s a cluster fuck of emotional instability.
I don’t know what’s up (Actually, I feel like do! I’m just fairly impatient, but even as an introvert even I have my own limits when it comes to sticking to myself for too long.)
But I need a breather before I pop. (Last time I did a post like this after moving, I tried working through it, streaming, groups and it quite literally made shit far worse.)
I would like to avoid another unintentional hiatus considering that March-May has actually been pretty decent, productivity-wise and how active the blog has been in comparison to like other months/times I took long ass 4-6 month hiatus from a lot of places at once. These last few months have been the most active and consistent I’ve been for a long time now. Possibly the most on this blog entirely. Though not exactly pushing out my proudest work of all time, far from it. The productivity while still feeling pretty /content/ with some of the quality, It felt really REALLY nice. (Not drawing or posting for two-three days, felt like I haven’t done anything for weeks. It was a good art itch.)
I apologize IF I go back to being extremely silent for a while here and a lot of places. Artwork will still go up like normal. (Won’t be reblogging much, answering asks and somewhat want to stop posting commission on this blog. But on the plus side, looking at least +40 images to be posted for June. so that’s a plus.)
I may just post up here again like none of that word vomit spewed above even mattered in like a week or few days. Who knows.
Just a minor heads up, if I’m just like dead silent or being stranger than usual.
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