Stop doing commissions, you always get backed up because of some emotional baggage or other stupid shit and refund people. Obviously you love art, but you do not have the discipline to make it your job. Why not just draw for your sake and stop this roller coaster of emotional crank yanking?

Enough.

I’ve caused my own issues.

But please don’t spew shit when you have no clue of my situation and it’s entirety.

(This probably the most TMI I will be period.)

This is a PayPal capital Loan.
There are no monthly or weekly payments if you are approved for it.
BUT, depending on how big of a fee you choose to pay directly to PayPal.
A larger or smaller percentage of each sale made immediately goes to repaying that loan.

In my case, it’s 30% every single commission. (Small or Large)

Here is that (my) history from the last 10 months.
(September 2017) during saving + moving preparations to now. (July 2018)

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(the First loan was to see how it worked, paid back immediately, The Second loan was to get this house in the first place with the help of commissioners and a mutual because I didn’t have a valid enough proof of income to get the place myself. Had to pay several months worth of rent upfront alongside the security deposit. The Third loan was to catch up on bills that piled up due to my fuck up/not working more and refund others.)

All that remains is $277 on the last loan. Then done.

I’ve been working the last several months to almost a year now with this clutch.

Which has made the many times I’m not drawing enough, having to refund or pay for any repairs on anything, a bigger loss and much more work than it would normally be otherwise for anyone. (More commissions than needed because any payments received are cut almost in half.)

Besides this entire thing being a matter of exhaustion/getting a breather, wanting to polish and expand my own content.

I’m making the choices now because what issues that were major problems both emotionally and financially have been resolved or being lifted. (The last bit being Paypal Capital and Backlog)

I know that I am taking things slow now. (and as they should be.)
I didn’t handle working with such pressure well while dealing with emotional problems. (I mean, can’t say I’m personally keen on dealing well or being  mentally prepared when it comes to the life of my own parent being a major part of that. I refuse to get into that.)

I have no reason to or want to work with such a clutch again.

It was/still is a big fucking annoying handicap.

But I sure as hell can and have worked damn decently when there’s nothing hampering what or who I choose to work on and how I choose to work on it.

And that should be less of an issue now with that weight off my back.

(And just to give some numbers using May for example since it was the most recent and not entirely rocky Month: What is usually finished on a normal schedule and WITH the 30% Paypal Fee removed, that would be a $1.2k difference rather than losing $1.2k. An amount I can comfortably use to refund others without doing more than necessary to cover them and still pay my rent & bills month by month until everyone has gotten their refund or artwork.)

Refunds / Deadline (I need breathing room)

Sitting on this one for a while but I think and feel it’s about time I talked about this.

I’ve hit my limit.

Recently I estimated that I would have my backlog cleared up by August 2018 (Originally estimated around March 2018 after moving with several months rent-free.)

I won’t be able to finish up the backlog in time for the end of August like planned. June didn’t go well and neither did July thus far. I’ve been burning out.

I still want to finish up all promised work that spans back from months to years. I also still want to continue to work within a schedule that suits me best for things like streams, colored sketches, and Patreon content.

But I need breathing room right now to do so, I could really use the extra bit of time to provide Art and Refunds to those who want it.

I feel stagnated like I haven’t done as much as I could, would like to and can do.

I want more time to focus on my work and grow my content.
Not specifically to do MORE content, I’ve already learned and hit my limits the hard way on what I’m physically able to do as I am currently.
But I want to do BETTER content. Not too certain on where that will go, but I know that what I’m doing now isn’t currently it or at least it’s not entirely where I want to be.

The deadline for backlog completion would be December, 1st, 2018.
(From August to December finishing owed commissions and settings up refunds when asked bit by bit. Any commissions not finished by December will be refunded, not all at once but as many as I can at a time until everyone has been refunded.)

I would like to use this wider gap of time to really polish my content, expand what I can do currently or wasn’t capable of doing before.

If you’re a commissioner who’s still waiting for pieces from me, this is the only thing I shall ask of you: If this time frame isn’t something you like, you really do not want to wait any longer for something from me or just straight up had enough, ask for a refund. (Keep reading, I have something to help!)

My estimate for the entire backlog / your commission to be finished at the latest would be December, 1st, 2018.

Anything not finished by then will be refunded in full /the ENTIRE price you originally paid, regardless of progress already made. (This is the same as my Terms of Service sent through invoices from 2017- 2018)

I have set up a refund form for that, located here: https://form.jotform.com/kanel/2018-refund-form
This form will now be visible on my FA profile page and on my Tumblr page today to anyone who wishes to submit a refund request hassle free.

If the December deadline is okay with you, please, please, PLEASE:

Do not push for a completion time.
I’ve had this issue with others pushing their commissions ahead of other commissioners that I already had personally planned or promised work for the week or month.

It causes a mess for everyone else still waiting, 80% of the time throws me off and unnecessarily applies more pressure/stress even when pieces are being worked on for multiple people at an overall decent pace.

Absolutely no more of that.
A hard deadline has been set.
please do fill out a Refund Form if you feel August to December completion time is far too long.

I will do my best to get as many as I can be finished up by December.
Any commissions I know for a fact I can no longer do BEFORE reaching the deadline will be contacted and refunded completely.

Thank you for reading, for being as patient as you have been, continuing to stick around or for allowing me to fix up any of my mistakes.

Sorry for the long unnecessary wait on your commissions and not providing more communication outside of journals/Tumblr posts.

sorry not a critique but, honestly, how are you able to properly deal with all that? if i were at your level and got told i still make that many mistakes, i’d just drop art entirely.

I take it how it is, gives me something to keep in mind and improve on.

Mistakes can be fixed, some just take a little longer than others.

Personally: I’d rather be told sincerely that my work has flaws when it’s needed or if I personally ask for it than being told without much thought my shit doesn’t smell / you do the best “X” or “Y”. But that doesn’t mean i’ll consider feedback that’s flung my way without any purpose but to just to take jabs at any artist for shits n giggles or because of some bad intentions. It gets easier to tell which is which over time.

Wouldn’t have gotten anywhere over the last few years if I didn’t ask or get any form of feedback from friends/mutuals/others.

It’s obvious with your coloured sketch commissions with which characters you liked drawing and which ones you don’t. Ones you do have a bit more polish put into them, whereas ones that don’t look more rushed.

(felt this one needed an answer)

Admittedly, at any point, if you’re seeing work that is more polish than usual.

I’m more likely enjoying myself or the character(s)/idea far too much to stop at what was originally paid for.

(I can’t say there are any sketches that are picked that I dislike. I wouldn’t pick them if I disliked the character begin with. But there is definitely still characters, ideas or themes that catches my interest enough to really go a bit further if I have the time to.)

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20-25 sketches are picked at a time out of all forms submitted.

So believe me, when I say, there’s plenty to choose from. If I’m picking a character it’s more likely I like the character or the idea enough to try my hand at drawing them.

Though, that doesn’t mean my first or second attempt at drawing the character will be as good as I originally wanted it to be. (But if commissioned again I do try to do better if I feel and/or I’m told I did poorly on my first attempts.)